top of page

If confidence is what you're after, then self-acceptance is where it's at

It saddens me to see so many of my clients, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances suffering from low self-esteem. They don't like who they are or what they do, and it's really quite unfortunate. So often, this problem stems from their inability to accept who they are — their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours — for what it is: just human nature. When you can truly accept yourself for who you are without judgment or criticism, then your confidence will soar!

In fact, when I work with clients on building their self-confidence levels up through acceptance practices, instead of criticising themselves down into shame spirals (which tend to be more prevalent), their lives change dramatically in ways they never thought possible before!

"Self-acceptance is the key to confidence." - Rick Foster, author of 'Self-Esteem Tool Kit: A Guide for Professionals'

You're a work in progress, but that's okay. Self-acceptance is where the real learning happens — not self-complacency or contentment, but an ongoing process of growth and exploration. It's not about being satisfied with who you are or where you're at right now; it's about embracing who you are and where you're at right now as part of the journey towards becoming your best version of yourself.

Self-acceptance isn't something that happens overnight—it takes effort and time to cultivate a healthy sense of self-worth. But one step along the way is understanding that our flaws don't define us; they're simply part of what makes each individual unique.

Defining 'self-acceptance'

Self-acceptance is a process of self-love. It is not about seeing yourself as you want to be, but rather accepting yourself as you are right now. This means accepting your flaws and all the things that make us human: our fat thighs, our receding hairline, and yes—even the pounds we put on over Christmas break!

Self-acceptance involves learning how to be kinder with ourselves and treating ourselves with compassion. We must learn to love ourselves in spite of our shortcomings and imperfections because they don't define who we are or what we can accomplish in life!

Accepting yourself is not complacency

It's a mistake to think that accepting yourself is the same as complacency. It can be tempting to look at someone who's confident and think, "If I could just be like them, then my life would be perfect!" But accepting yourself doesn't mean that you're going to stop growing or changing — it just means that you're comfortable enough with who you are now that it doesn't matter so much anymore.

Acceptance is not an event; it's a process. When we say "I accept myself," what we really mean is "I'm trying." We may not have gotten there yet, but we're working toward bettering ourselves and our relationships with others by being kinder than we were yesterday, more patient than we were last week, less judgmental today than we were yesterday...and so on!

By doing these things (and many others) every day for weeks or months or years on end until they become habits rather than conscious choices, eventually something wonderful happens: You become comfortable in your own skin — not just okay with where things are right now but actually happy about it all going into whatever direction life takes us next.

Reframing how you see your challenges

· Understand your perspective.

· Put a positive spin on how you view the situation.

· Turn your challenges into opportunities for growth, learning and/or social connection.

When it comes to our everyday lives, we tend to react in one of two ways: we either focus on what's wrong with the situation or what's right about it if we're looking at things positively. For example, if you got fired from your job today because they downsized and there wasn't enough work for everyone anymore, then you could be upset by this fact — or you could think about this as an opportunity for change!

You don't have to stick with something just because it's safe or comfortable; being open-minded about your options will help keep them fresh and exciting every day!

Using self-acceptance to improve performance

You can use self-acceptance to improve your performance in the following ways:

  • Accepting yourself is not complacency. It’s easy to think that if you accept who you are, it will mean that you don’t try any harder or improve. But that's not true at all! Self-acceptance doesn't mean giving up on improving yourself, but rather it means understanding how you want to improve so that those changes reflect who you truly are.

  • Reframing your challenges as opportunities. When we see our challenges as opportunities for growth, it makes them less stressful and scary! We feel more confident about taking on these types of situations because we know we'll learn something new about ourselves in the process (and what could be better than knowing yourself better?).

  • Focusing on what's working instead of what isn't working. This can be difficult at first because our brains have been trained by society over centuries to focus on what isn't good enough about ourselves—but once again: self-acceptance means understanding who YOU really are and accepting YOUR strengths as well as YOUR weaknesses (while still striving for improvement).

Accepting yourself for who you are is the ultimate act of confidence.

The first step to loving yourself is accepting yourself for who you are. Self-confidence is born from self-acceptance, not self-loathing or denial.

When you can confidently accept your strengths and weaknesses, it’s easier to forgive others for theirs and yourself for yours. This lesson has certainly changed my life for the better.


So there you have it, folks! Self-acceptance is the secret to being confident. It’s not something that can be faked or bought, but rather something that comes from within. When we accept ourselves for who we are, we discover our true potential as human beings — and really, isn’t that what life is all about?

16 views0 comments


bottom of page