Parents usually want their children to be self-confident - after all, self-confidence is a key component of success in life. But how do you teach this important life skill to your little ones? Here are some tips to help you on your way.
Meet Their Needs
This tip is absolutely vital to boosting your child's self-esteem whilst growing up as well as later in life. Experts note that babies and later children who have their needs met consistently - for example their needs for food, comfort, a listening ear, love, support, etc. - are learning the message that they are worth paying attention to; they learn that their feelings matter and they have worth. Some professionals believe this is best accomplished through the practice of attachment parenting. Others simply note that prompt and consistent meeting of needs will send a positive message to children.
Play with Your Child
Play is how your child learns about and interacts with his or her world. When you participate, you validate this playful approach. You are sharing your child's world and helping him or her to see that Mom and/or Dad like the same things they do.
Parents may have a tendency to get pushy about teaching their children the value of hard work or the completion of tasks. This is a natural instinct as they desire a successful future for their children. While these things are certainly important, the time in a person's life when they are young, playful children is quite short. So embrace this time and play with your child. You can even include some task-oriented training in addition to playtime. Honestly, it can be therapeutic for parents to play with their kids!
"Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first." – Matthew Jacobson
Mind Your Facial Expressions
Okay, not everyone is happy all the time, and parents get stressed. This is understandable, and there's no need to invent a perpetually-cheerful persona; it's simply unrealistic. But if your children receive the constant unintended message that they are the source of your stress, they may begin to take on that identity. They will see themselves as an annoyance to you and to everyone else, and this may undermine their self-confidence.
Mind Your Words
In a similar vein to the tip above, be careful about complaining about your children when in earshot. Yes, parenting is hard, and children can try your patience. But if you need to vent to your friends about the things your child does that drive you crazy, do it at a time when your child is not present or after he or she has fallen asleep. A simple venting statement about a single occurrence may have long-term negative consequences for their self-esteem. As their parent, your child has a high regard for what you have to say.
Don't Withhold Care and Affection
If your child fails at something - and he or she will at some point as this is how we as humans learn and grow - it's important not to withdraw or withhold love and attention. This sends the message that your child's achievements are more important that the child him/herself. Instead, make sure your child knows you love him or her no matter what failures happen.
Of course, this does not mean you as a parent need to accept constant failure or not encourage your child to do better. The important thing is for your child not to think your love is conditional. Privileges can be conditional; parental love shouldn't be.
In conclusion, teaching your children to be self-confident is a journey that requires patience, consistency, and positive reinforcement. As parents, it is essential to understand that our words and actions can significantly impact our child's self-esteem. Therefore, it is important to create a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel valued, respected, and encouraged to express themselves. By implementing the tips discussed in this blog post and being mindful of your words and actions, you can help your children develop the self-confidence they need to succeed in life. Remember, self-confidence is not something that can be given; it must be nurtured and developed over time, and as a parent, you have the power to shape your child's self-esteem in a positive way.
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